By Staff Reporter
When a man becomes a father, his world changes more than some people can really appreciate. Fatherhood, much as it is not for the faint at heart, influences every aspect of a man’s life.
It is one of nature’s beautifully daunting missions. It is a mission that enriches life here, complicates it there – it brings joy and frustration, pride and fatigue and, at times, a lot of utter confusion
One must give direction to differently talented children, each with their unique demands. The joy fatherhood brings is worth every struggle. This joy is treasured by the legendary multi-award-winning music maestro Sipho ‘Hotstix’ Mabuse. With a career spanning over five decades, he says fatherhood is his most cherished accomplishment. If you were inquisitive about the nickname, Hotstix; wonder no more. During a gig many years ago, the lights at the hall where they were performing went out, but Mabuse, who was playing drums, was the only one who continued playing for 20 minutes. A fellow band member approached him afterwards and said: “Hey, hot sticks”, and it stuck. A father of 12 and doting grandfather of 15, he says the fatherhood was not without its hurdles, what with a career that kept him away from home. Today he says he is happy to have triumphed over every challenge as he is also enjoying being a great-grandfather to a bouncy toddler. He asserts that fatherhood can never be bought: “it is a unique journey that each man must traverse. “I think we must just take the responsibility. We may not be good partners to our spouses, but for God’s sake, let us be good fathers to our children because that will determine the kind of children, we will give to the world to represent our families,” the muso counsels. Born and bred in Soweto and started his musical journey with The Beaters in the 1970s. They later changed their name to Harari and began to draw almost exclusively on American-style funk, soul and pop. Hotstix released his solo album in 1984 chart toppings hits, Burn Out and Jive Soweto.
Parenting
Hotstix is critical of parents who try to “impress” their children with material things. He says “fatherhood comes from the heart”. “My parents instilled humanity in me and I hope I have done the same with my children. My father knew how we loved his fish and chips treat on Fridays. So, he instilled those kinds of values in me. My mother, on the other hand, woke up around 4am each day to sell vetkoeks so as I could go to school. You know what I’m saying?” he says. He believes parents must infuse a good life balance in taking care of children instead of ‘buying’ their happiness. He says children must learn restraint early in life so they can be at peace even when there is lack. “It is also important how we relate to our boys. We must educate them how to relate to females, their sisters and all other females in general. This is where domestic violence comes from. “If I were to speak about myself, as you know, I was not married for a long time. I married late. But none of my past partners could say ‘o kile a nshapa’ (he once hit me). When you see me with them, you’d think I’m still with them as my partners. “And what that instils in my children is, ‘we are all our father’s children. Even though we have different mothers. Our father still loves and cares even though he parted with our mothers.’ There is no pointing of fingers. No!” He says there are the things that make a relationship between parents and children special. The kind where a son wakes up in the morning to make his father coffee to say “thanks dad”.
