By Eric Ballard
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilised ones will be of little avail.” There are certain aspects of man that should remain wild and undomesticated. The Duke said, “You have to be a man before you can be a gentleman.”
But this does not imply that we are meant to be uncivil. Christ was no savage. There is a right and wrong manner in which we are to treat other people. Because of the sinful nature we are born with, we instinctually lean towards the wrong and must be taught the right way. Teach your kids these 5 manners:
1. Say I’m sorry
While “Please” and “Thank you” may be magic words, “I’m sorry” is a phrase that can bring healing. In his letter, Jesus’ half-brother, James, said, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). When you have made a mistake and possibly damaged a relationship, there is no quicker way to reconciliation than saying I’m sorry. Unfortunately, for any number of reasons, these words can also be incredibly tough to utter. Teach your kids how to say sorry by saying it to them and their mom when you mess up.
2. Be present
The phone has become an incredible distraction. While it made huge strides towards connecting people worldwide, it has also done an amazing job of becoming an ejection button from face-to-face interaction.
In restaurants across our nation, people miss out on precious time with their friends across the table because they are too busy reading comments and looking at pictures of people they’ve never met. Teach your kids to be with the people they are with. To be present, in the moment. Giving your attention to the people you are with demonstrates you value you them and your time with them.
3. Respect your elders
When some teenage punks were disrespectful to Elisha, instead of telling their parents, the prophet called on bears to attack the ignorant adolescents (True story, 2 Kings 2:23-24). Respect for your elders is a real thing. Teach your kids the importance of respecting their elders. If they speak or act in a dishonourable way to their parents or grandparents, they need to be corrected. Jesus modelled this by honouring Mary and Joseph (Luke 2:51).
4. Be considerate
This is more of an umbrella kindness that covers many courtesies, starting with considering other people more important than yourself. When your kids (and the rest of us) fully embrace that sentiment from Paul in Philippians 2:3, consideration for others and their feelings will come a lot more easily. They will say, “excuse me,” when they have inconvenienced someone else. They will be on time. They won’t say anything at all if they don’t have something nice to say. Teaching them to be considerate will go a long way in the manners department.
5. Be honest
Don’t lie! This one made the top ten (Exodus 20:16). But you and I both know that being an honest man is more than not telling lies. Half-truths and deceptions can poison the minds and hearts of a man by convincing him he is still a man of integrity. That man is lying to himself.
Teach your kids to be honest, not just to tell the truth.
If you show manners, so will your kids. It’s crucial that we are intentional about teaching our kids the right way to speak and treat other people. And the best form of teaching is modelling. Let’s lead by example. If you use these manners with your family, your example will deeply instil the values of these lessons. – manhoodjourney.org
